On sucking each others faces off in the hallway

William: PDA is absolutely not necessary in the hallways, and frankly, it makes me sick. When I walk to school in the morning at 7:30, the first thing I  want to see is not two people making out on my locker. I am not in a good mood at this time, but luckily I do my best work when I'm in a foul mood. My favorite responses are:

1. Scream "Get a room somewhere far away from my locker!"

2. Put my arms around myself right  next to them and make lewd kissing sounds as loud as I can until they notice.

3. Stare awkwardly for a few seconds and then say "Mind if I join?"

4. Open my locker as quickly as possible and swing it around so its hits the rapt couple.

5. I have yet to actually do this, but my next plan is to scream "RAPE!!!" at the top of my lungs in the crowded hallway and then run.

Drastic? Yes. Absolutely necessary? Same answer.

Kaitlyn: It's disgusting. People need to stop making out in front of my face. I don't know what to do. Your suggestions are good ones, but I feel like PDA couples are kind of in their own world. You can't really penetrate the bubble of their lewdness. I mean, you can try, sure, but good luck. I have literally run into couples sucking each other and nothing more than me getting someone else's saliva on me has happened. I also think there is a correlation between the level of PDA and the amount that these couples write on each other's Facebook walls. The more you share on each other's profile, the more you like to spend passing period playing tonsil hockey. You get five minutes to walk from one class to the next. Is it really necessary to spend almost all of that time connected to someone? I don't think so. Is it too hard to wait and freaking GO HOME before you start having sex? It shouldn't be. Something needs to change.